man-sex = calorie burning fun!

I knew it was a mistake to talk about food. I don't know what it is about this job, but I always get hungry really early...although, I have to say I'm a little bit suspicious of my eating habits now, seeing as I was surfing through blogs earlier and I found an entry about how lesbians are more likely to be overweight than straight girls. Wow, what a choice! Either sex with a man or a stomach that doubles as a knee-warmer. Could it, perhaps, be insidious straighty propaganda?

NEW STUDY SHOWS WITHOUT A DOUBT THAT MAN-SEX IS ONLY WAY TO KEEP OFF POUNDS.

A new study funded by the US Government today found that in order to keep from a life of being air-lifted out of bed, all women should indulge in (preferably post-marital) man-sex. This study, endorsed by the President, suggested that
women should look to a life of happy and healthy man-woman relations in order to keep trim and attractive.

"We're not saying any other life choice is wrong," said a leading scientist, "only that for the happiest, healthiest life-span, it's dick all the way."

When faced with evidence that lesbian sex burned off just as many calories as hetrosexual lovin', the same scientist replied, "Ah, but are they the right kind of calories? Lesbian calories, as we've proven, are less healthy than straight ones, and harder to shift. We recommend, to any and all lesbians, a hardcore diet of man, man, man. Yummy."

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Oh god. The lack of food is affecting my brain. Quick, someone get me a man before I eat my pain!

In all seriousness...I know I can be a little snarky. I don't mean to be so, and I'm the first one to admit that I have weight issues. In this day and age, it's difficult not to (hence my running battle with the cake isle). It's an issue I do take seriously in my private life, and I would never poke fun at someone personally. Disclaimer done.